Updated: Jul 22, 2019
My marriage… running on a business operating system? Yes – it does seem a little bit crazy (and my wife would agree with you). However, the current statistics on marriages in the U.S. are astounding. Unfortunately, far too many business-minded people work so hard to run their businesses and fail to take care of the relationships that are most important to them. An unhealthy marriage can leave you feeling empty, stuck, like you’re constantly repeating yourself and being unheard; do these frustrations sound similar? They should!
Marriages need to strengthen the 6 key components of a business as much, if not more, than a business does. Let me show you why.
Vision: Two people who live life together on a regular basis need to be going in the same direction, or 20 years down the road they will wake up in completely different locations. The practice/discipline of having a similar vision for your marriage, A PURPOSE, will keep spouses connected, or at least informed, of what they are doing with their marriage, and ultimately – their life. Yes, the vision will change, transform, and grow as your marriage does, but if you have a platform to communicate those thoughts on, you and your spouse will actually do it! Vision, the Who, What, Why, and How, is critical to a marriage. I could go much deeper – but you understand the concept.
People: Now, this one might seem a little unnecessary. You should NOT do this evaluation with your spouse and just determine that they aren’t the right person in the right seat, because that would be a little counter-productive. However, by doing the right people right seat exercise, you will come out unified in the ‘culture’ of your marriage. Who are we, at the core? On a second level, this can be a great tool in finding people to surround yourself with to achieve your goals.
Data: What are our financial goals? Are we saving enough for retirement or that new guitar? The scorecard gives you the cold, hard, facts of whether or not you are on track to accomplish the goals within your marriage. It could be financial, a measurable related to how much candy your kid ate that week (stupid example, I know), or how many times we’ve broken a marriage ‘protocol or procedure’. These forward indicators will show you where to improve, and whether or not you are.
Issues: This component, is CRITICAL to a healthy marriage. In EOS – our saying is that successful business people know how to solve issues well. What that means, is first, having a place to discuss the issues. Second, identifying the issues, and prioritizing them in order of importance. And lastly, whittling down to the true issue, and solving it. Wouldn’t it be great if we could do that in a marriage relationship as well? The discipline most definitely applies, and the thought of an awkward ‘IDS’ session with a spouse is far outweighed by the prospect of solving any issues you are having – and actually solving them so they don’t continue to arise.
Processes: The rule of thumb for EOS in documenting processes, is that you document 20% and yield 80% compliance. In a marriage setting, it would not have to be quite as formal, but you could create processes for important or already painful items. I don’t want to put your ideas in a box, but they could be financial processes, discipline processes, conflict processes, etc.
Traction: Lastly, is putting the discipline in place to be proactive and steer your marriage rather than letting it control you. Having a meeting pulse, meaning there are regular, consistent conversations in place to discuss these things will be important. Second, is living your life in that 90-day world. If you and your spouse utilize Rocks, you will see yourselves accomplishing more of your goals and being more satisfied within your marriage.
These 6 components are not, and should not be, the ‘foundation’ of your marriage. They are simply tools to help you succeed and get more out of it, just as it does for a business. The terms can be changed and morphed into making the most sense in this interesting context, however I believe (and have already seen in my own relationship), that using parts of EOS could be a leg up in have a happy, successful marriage.
Disagree? Tell us why! We would love to engage with you.